Nine months of preparation and it's finally over. What a wonderful experience!
I came from the other side of the world but slotted in seamlessly with the wonderfully diverse mob - the organisers and my fellow speakers.
The people were so interesting, and friendly and helpful. The stories varied widely with topics from teaching children financial literacy, to stopping human trafficking, to the importance of not lying to yourself or others (delivered by an ex-alcoholic and prisoner), to a new model for buying clothes (a membership based swap shop) to mine: Why chasing happiness is nuts and what to do instead.
A stress I didn't need was my second wardrobe emergency when we realised both of my blue outfits blended in with the blue background. A fellow speaker who was a local came and picked me up and took me to the swap shop run by another speaker, and we had a fabulous time trying to dress me in colours that didn't blend in with the stage background.
It was kind of crazy - memorise 2000 words and perform them in front of 33 million people, sure, but decide what to wear - aaaaggghhh!!!!!
After all of the emergency shopping trips and Whatsapp consultations with my friend Philippa before going, in the end, at dress rehearsal the day before, the hosts convinced me to wear the outfit I'd been practising in - just replace the running tights with jeans. I had thought this would be too casual, but no. It was good advice. I felt really comfortable and clothing just stopped being an issue.
The event was superbly organised and we speakers were incredibly well supported - no kettle in your hotel room? No problem, here's mine. People picking us up and delivering us to rehearsals and functions. It was clear that the speakers' comfort and happiness was an important priority.
Going into it, my only fear was that a mental blank would descend upon me and I'd embarrass myself in front of 33 million people (the TEDx YouTube followers). And in my 48hrs in transit (my first flight was cancelled and I spent 24hrs at an airport hotel!) I had a terrible bout of self-doubt.
Our minds are well intentioned but only semi-skilled friends. This doubt was intended to avoid the monumental embarrassment. It was trying to protect me. But it was in fact making things worse! Anxiety was only going to make it MORE likely I'd have a mental blank!
It's moments like this where years of personal growth pay dividends... helped by my frequent practice of facing pressure (lining up in a final at World Championships can be scary).... and good friends (a friend from my meditation group sent me some very well timed encouragement and confidence, thank you Colleen!).
One of the key practices of personal growth is cultivating the willingness to be with discomfort. To not run from it, not block it out or try to destroy it. Instead, the practice is to get curious about it, to explore it, to receive any messages it might hold for you, and to practice intentional values-based action in the face of it.
As I soared towards the USA, that fearful voice got louder and louder. A mental film festival spontaneously began. It was titled 'Stuffing it up royally" which featured the mental blank on stage, colossal disappointment, and many sympathetic looks from friends as I returned home chastened by my refusal to listen to the voice asking "who do you think you are to be doing this?'
On my very long to-do list for Flourish Personal Growth, is the plan to create a tool for undermining self doubt. It's going to be called the Board of Believers. I haven't focused on it yet because both the TEDx talk and launching the online program have been my top priorities. So I used this moment to create and test the tool on my long haul flight.
I got about half way through it before I needed to sleep, but it was enough to dial down the anxiety just enough to stop the film festival in its tracks. There was still a little fear present but it was now in the background. I could direct my attention to where I was - resume my membership of PAR and fully experience the adventure.
In rehearsal, I did everything I could to simulate the real event. The microphone wasn't working but I didn't care, I asked to wear it anyway. The house-lights were on - can we turn them off? Can I see the view from the stage on the day - including the audience - before I have to perform? I've noticed that when I'm nervous, removing as many unknowns as possible helps. Unexpected elements are fuel to the fire.
I was lucky, they asked all of us out onto the stage after half time, to present us with a gift - our very own hand-crafted TEDx sterling silver belt buckles (the venue was in Montana). That gave me a good look at the visual landscape in real life.
After four rehearsals and a dress rehearsal, the only micro-memory lapses I'd had were not even noticed by anyone. My confidence grew.
On the day, I didn't forget a single word! And the feedback from the organisers, my fellow speakers, and audience members who came to the after-party was genuinely and mind-blowingly positive. I think I can say: I nailed it!
So it is done. I'm very relieved to have it behind me and very grateful for the fantastic experience which I'll remember fondly for the rest of my life.
It's my hope that I can get the video to be widely viewed - to share as widely as possible, the two key points in my talk:
Aim for flourishing, not happiness - flourishing includes the whole of the human experience, not just the fun bits.
To flourish, nourish your life across all Nine Elements of human flourishing. Don't get hung up on any one element e.g. like the common obsession with money.
The organisers now have four weeks to edit and submit the videos to the TEDx moderators, who check them against their operating principles (which I LOVE - they include things like no bad science; no religion; no commercial promotion). Then it's somewhere between a week and two months before we hear the verdict on our presentations and they are, or are not, uploaded onto the TEDx YouTube site.
Stay tuned because I want you to be on my launch team....to help the YouTube algorithm pick it up and spread it!
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